Thursday, April 18, 2013

Survive & Advance: 1 year later

So Sunday April 7th was the one year anniversary of my accident and my surgery.  I wanted to write and publish it on that exact day but I didn't really feel like writing it.  I am not sure why.  I guess I was too busy thinking about it - or forgetting it - to really write anything.  Even when I did get started, it took a bit of an effort.  Though I had been thinking about this post for a while, I guess some anniversaries are best if they quietly come and go.  And it was appropriate it came on a Sunday.  I was able to be with my family - the only place I want to be.

Nevertheless, I should say, the title and theme of this post was inspired by the ESPN series 30 for 30.  I have written about this series before.  If you haven't watched any, I highly recommend them.  A recent episode called "Survive & Advance" tells the story of the NC State basketball team and their heroic run to become the 1983 NCAA basketball Division 1 champions.  Secondly, the story tells of their coach, Jim Valvano, who battled cancer and died at the tender age of 47.

Valvano was a charismatic leader and speaker who in recent years has become as well known for the foundation he started at the end of his life as he was for his years as a coach.  Valvano was also an announcer for ESPN for a number of years.  His "Don't give up, don't ever give up" speech became a historic moment for for ESPN and their awards show, The ESPYs.

I must say "Survive & Advance" is one the best things I have watched on TV in a long time.  It shows one of the beauties of life when people or groups of people "get on a roll" and everything seems to right, particularly in contrast to a previous period when nothing seemed to go right.  The 1982-1983 season was an up and down one for NC State.  They had a solid team but never seemed to be able to get it all together until they were able to win the ACC conference tournament which was the only way to get into the NCAA tournament.  Then they strung together another set of wins to make it to the Final Four and the championship game.

Within that streak they beat Ralph Sampson's Virginia team twice.  They beat Michael Jordan's North Carolina team once and then beat Hakeem Olajuwon's Houston team in the championship game.  They beat the team with the best college basketball player of all time in Sampson, the team with the best basketball player of all time in Jordan, and the team with the best center of all time in Olajuwon.  And their wins included overtimes, last minute shots, and an array of circumstances where they simply got lucky and the gods were shining favorably upon them.

What like about their story is that it shows success and survival are not mutually exclusive.  Sometimes survival equals success.  Sometimes success is survival.  And sometimes it is not.  Coach Valvano died but continues to be a success.  Sometimes surviving allows you to advance.  And surviving isn't always pretty but it is better than the alternative.  It gives you a chance to fight another day.  It gives you a chance to learn about mistakes - albeit not fatal ones, hopefully - and move forward.  It allows you to use what you have learned and go at it again.  And sometimes that is all you need: just a chance to play again.  Just a chance to put on the uniform and lace up the shoes.  Just a chance to live again.  And maybe, if you are lucky, live better than you did before.

For me, I can't come up with a better way to describe the past year of my life.  Me and my family survived my accident but I am not looking at it as something that has stalled me.  Yes physically I was limited for a while but now I am physically stronger than perhaps I have ever been.  The hip is somewhat of a liability but the rest of my body is advancing beyond where it was.  And the hip will catch up.  And the hip will advance where it was even before the accident.

In some ways the accident helped me highlight areas of my life and myself which weren't as I wanted.  I was doing okay but the fragility of the past year gave me perspective that I can do more.  I can be more that I was and that I am today.  The surviving helped me get a view on how I want to advance and how I want to actualize myself.  I know how I want to do that physically but with my career, my writing, and my role as a parent, I am certainly evolving and seeing where I could go.  I am at the very beginning stages of that journey.

Survival has certainly made me thankful for simply being alive and walking and being able to care for my kids and my family, but it hasn't ended there.  I could be content and be at peace with life as it is. And all I have been through I doubt anyone would question that.  And in many ways I have.  I don't want more things.  I don't want a bigger house and fancier cars.  But I do want provide more for my kids.  I want to make sure I can give them as many opportunities and are as cared for as possible.  I want more vacations and quality time.  I want to ensure their education is covered.  That is my goal.

To achieve that, I think, I want to be more than I am today.  I am setting big goals for my career.  I am setting big goals for my writing.  I want to see where my skills can take me.  And the accident highlighted that.  Perhaps it highlighted the road a little better.  It is a little dim in some areas but because of what I have been through, I know myself better.  I know what drives me.  And I need to find the right forum where I can use what drives me to be successful.

Coach Valvano gives some great encouragement   He says "How do you go from where you are to where you wanna be? You have to have a dream, a goal. And you have to be willing to work for it."

So one year later, I walk a little different.  And I live a little different.  But I live better.  I feel better.  I feel happier.  I have survived.  And I am advancing.  But now I know it is a lifelong process.  And the advancing may require more survival.  But I have survived before.  Breaking a hip really sucks but in some ways I believe, unfortunately, I needed it to happen to begin to become who I was meant to be.  Destiny is an overused term but there are key moments in life that set us straight and my injury was one for me.  

Like I said before I wouldn't change a thing.  The accident means to too much to me at this point.  It has taught me too much.  And I could say it taught me how to survive but that would be only the first half of a game.  It has really taught me how to advance.  And the advancing never ends.  That's the beauty.  I have many more years to advance.  Coach Valvano didn't get chance to advance his life as far as he wanted but his spirit and his legacy lives on.  

I have survived.  It’s time to build a legacy.

Thanks for reading...

No comments:

Post a Comment