"You Have to Live Your Life"

I wrote a bit in my 2012 year end piece about not being your injury or illness.  I said that we need to make every effort to transcend it and overcome whatever obstacles are in our way.  In particular, I spoke of someone close to me who has MS and has recently lost 50 pounds.  I found it very inspirational because there are times where I feel that I - albeit mentally and emotionally - succumb to feeling like my life is on hold in some ways and I can really start living once I am completely healed.

One area of my life that I put on hold is riding my bike in the winter.  Some of you may feel that riding your bike in the winter is crazy for anyone, hip injury or not.  But here in Minnesota we embrace the winter.  We run, we snowshoe, we ski, we ice fish, and we bike - all in the cold and ice and slush and snow.  As long as you have the right gear and equipment - and a little bit of gumption - you can enjoy "summer" activities all year year round.  It is an attitude that sets us apart from other places.  I am not a native Minnesotan and tend to be more critical of this nutty state than I should be, but the fact that the people here are so active year round and treat the cold and snow as nothing more than a slight nuance is something that has changed me for the better.  It is something I admire in the people and has toughened me up to do anything in any kind of weather conditions.  It may seem crazy to our western and southern brethren but biking in the winter is a bit like wresting an alligator.  If you know what you are doing, it is a calculated risk with (usually) an exhilarating, positive outcome.  If you don't, well, you get hurt - or die...

Nevertheless, when the first snowfall came in mid December I was hesitant to get on the bike.  I had decided in November that I would ride in the winter but when it came time to actually ride, I froze.  I was scared.  I didn't want to fall.  And rationally that was the right way to feel.  There was no reason to put myself in harm's way.  I didn't need to prolong my injury or set myself back.  So for about 3 weeks I didn't get on the bike and figured that I would do other things this winter, perhaps snowshoeing.  Perhaps salsa dancing.  And I had convinced myself I was okay with that.

Then one day last week I drove to work, following my usual riding route to work along the Mississippi River.  I saw some people riding.  I saw how beautiful the river looks in winter.  I saw that the paths looked clear enough.  And it got me thinking: I have a bike rigged for winter with the best studded tires money can buy.  I can ride slow.  I can just ride once a week to work.  I can...

So I got up last Friday morning and told my wife I was riding to work.  And somewhat to my surprise she didn't say anything to me.  From time to time, my wife will comment on things I am doing and express concern.  In fact, on the day I crashed she expressed concern before and during the ride.  And I assured her I was fine but of course I wasn't.  What I have learned is that my wife has very good intuition and if she feels like something could happen, she is usually right.  So I try and listen.  But this time she didn't say much.  She called and asked me how the ride was when I got there and that was it.

Later that night I asked her if she was mad at me for riding, given the fact if I were to get hurt again it would throw our household into an immediate tizzy.

Instead she said, "No, I am proud of you.  You have to live your life."

And she is right.  Just that comment got me motivated to keep living my life and moving forward as much as I can without thinking or acting on part of the injury.  I need to consciously not limp the best I can.  I need to not lean and sit too much.  I need to move on.  In some ways my body is not ready to completely move on but if I can get my mind and spirit there, hopefully the body will follow.

The ride itself, then, was great.  I missed the cold winds and sounds of snow crackling under my tires.  I missed the nice sleepy fatigue a winter ride brings at the end of the day.  I missed feeling confident when the terrain is unsure.  All in all, I missed how much fun riding in the winter is.  I went slow but I never felt like I was going to fall.  Since then I have ridden 2 more times and have 2 more rides planned for this week.

I feel (a little more) like myself again.

So no matter your state, get your body to place where you can live your life. If I can do it, you can do it.  I am far enough along that I can finally enjoy myself again.  So if you are hurt or just plain de-conditioned, just get up and get active.  Get strong.  Get motivated.  No matter if you are 15, 30, or 65, go live your life.  You will thank yourself for it.

And hopefully I will see you out on the trail.

Thanks for reading...